Living Single

This isn’t a post on my relationship status…sorry for the false alarm.

This is about parenthood, done solo. The instant I went public with this blog, I had secretly just committed to motherhood. Ironically, I don’t talk about it often. The subject is a little off topic from what I’m trying to accomplish with my writing, but not always. I say off topic because being a mother, or a father, I believe is tied to external power — contrary to what own and on is all about. I don’t want to digress any further, but did want to offer a little explanation for those who may be joining us for the first time. Now where was I…

Parenthood — so yes, I use the word commitment. Why? Well, for obvious reasons. It’s 2015. Like it or not — as a woman — it is a choice. I REALLY don’t want to digress into the pro life/choice debate either; I’m just stating the obvious. In that moment, I chose to be a mother with my whole heart and I’ve never looked back. Because of this, any obstacles that come my way in the solitude, don’t bother me. At all. When I chose my son, solo, with a smile, I chose them too.

I could start a blog on that subject alone and I’d never run out of things to say. But what really sparked these thoughts were the single DAD’s I’ve met lately. I haven’t sought them out, life has just caused me to crash into them for one reason or another. No one seems to ever mention you, but I’d like to give you ALL a virtual high five. Once there was a life at stake. It wasn’t up to you. You could not physically make the choice of a woman. For better or worse, you were married to another person’s decision. Regardless, society (sadly) STILL gives you an out. There’s a plethora of absentee fathers you could have joined forces with, but you didn’t. Despite the circumstances and the social norm, you clung to what you knew to be right deep down, in your soul. Loving the life that chose you. That IS what own and on is about. I’d like to acknowledge that through acknowledging you.

Parenthood is a massive undertaking that can easily wipe a solid couple out. If you know someone out there going at it alone, they’re likely self-proclaimed, self-sufficient. Know that, it is not possible. We need support, constantly. I’d be willing to bet that’s even harder to come by when you’re a man. I hope by putting this out into the world that that will change. That more people will give you a call — lend a hand — show up — despite the fact that you’re a man.

In the midst of my own madness…I release this hope for you. Keep owning it, keep on!

Author: Regina Chavis

Let go and grow -- I can help!

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