I don’t care who you are, or where you’re from, life is surely going to be life. The bully of all bullies — you will get smacked around regardless of how safe you play the game. You’re only sustainable defense is to realize — they are not slaps in the face, but nudges in the back — nudges in a different direction — nudges towards the life you truly desire — a life where you always have the upper hand. If we refuse to see this, we’ll get pummeled every time, feel discontent every time, and feel defeated every time a problem comes our way.

As someone who is quote, un-quote, driven, I tend to try to “make stuff happen”. Let me be the first to say, every time I do this, and I mean EVERY time — all I seem to make — is a damn fool of myself. Maybe rarely in a public forum, but my daily monologues can attest. Consider it harsh if you would like, but it is the truth. Most of my failures thus far, can be attributed to trying to force a square peg into a round hole. Determined? Why yes. Foolish? Of the upmost.

Age has been in my favor on this one (I hate to digress (although I do it often) however, I do not measure age in birthdays, but in growth (BIG difference (material for another post (another day)))).

I still have a LONG ways to go, but it has taken me years to realize one of my biggest learning curves in life is pushing forward without listening. Not listening in the traditional sense, but processing the feedback that life all around me is constantly giving — and then using that information to make decisions vs. allowing an imaginary fixation of my own creation to be the deciding factor.

Whatever you are dissatisfied with, I promise, a little listening, will outpace your drive ten fold. For my visual learners, it feels like letting go and standing butt naked in Times Square while the world is watching vs. closing your eyes and clinging tight to your conviction that, the life you are imagining for yourself will be revealed in the blink of an eye. I have learned — the hard way of course — that way of thinking is as backwards as the interpretation of the life-bully. What we need and want to see is already all around us for our viewing pleasure. All we have to do is turn around and move forward. Take the feedback, in the back, until we have the upper hand. This means repetitively — own and -> on, and -> on, and -> on… Let go -> feedback, go -> feedback, go -> feedback…


Author: Regina Chavis

Let go and grow -- I can help!

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