You don’t have to be a police officer in order to lay down the law. And actually, regardless of what you label yourself, it’s imperative that you find a way to lay down the law…the law that governs your love. Whether it be a significant other, friend, or family member, you have to be clear about what is and is not acceptable in order to be in relation with you. If you are not, it should come as no surprise when a boundary is disrespected, feelings are hurt, or in the worst of cases, a relationship is destroyed.
Once you DO lay down the law, it is even MORE imperative that you yourself adhere. If you have laid something out as non-negotiable; you must stick to your guns when that proclamation is put to the test. You WILL be tested. A re-neg on your own NON-negotiable, means that it was a waste of your breath in the first place.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting that a difference in opinion should cause you to throw in the towel. Deal breakers are not intended to be petty. When you think about (if you haven’t already) things you can and can not live without, they should involve or be similar to: respect, support, peace of mind, trust, rapport, intimacy, effective communication, etc. Once a violation occurs and you issue a warning, a continuous lack of concern by the lawbreaker places the ball in your court. Once you learn that an individual is a repeat offender, you absolutely must enforce the penalty…a tip of the hat…a smile…and a so-long!